Mark Me Yours...

By Lilwhip

“I only leave marks on request.”

These words were spoken to me recently by a Dominant man, and besides giving me a very nice little shiver of anticipation, they made me pause. It was said lightly enough, but it raised an interesting debate in my own head of whether I liked to be marked during play, and why.  I’d never really stopped to consider it before.  I think my recent surgery to remove skin cancer, and the resulting scar, suddenly opened up the door to these thoughts. I toyed with the idea all day long after that conversation, thinking first of my own preferences, and then of others. I soon found myself asking my  friends what they preferred. A whole gamut of answers revealed to me that this is not a black and white issue. You don’t either love it or hate it. There are various shades of grey, and they are constantly changing as we evolve. Some people don’t like marks at all. Others love finding bruises or bite marks the next day. I have one good friend who often played so heavily, she would still have deep bruising three weeks later.  And people change their minds all the time. But there is still further to go on this spectrum.  Some even like to be permanently scarred, via cutting or burning.  You can even make a pattern of it, much like tattooing. This is called Scarification, and in some circles it’s considered its own art form.  This is such a strange notion to those in the Vanilla world- that we submissives wear the damage inflicted on us by others like trophies. It got me thinking- what about being marked is so appealing to us?   

I mark up easily.  I’m a submissive who enjoys impact play, but my body is very reactive to it. On the first strike, I instantly turn deep pink.  Some have been daunted by this reaction, and held back more than they had to for fear of going too far. I hate it when that happens. Others have enjoyed raising welts on me, loving the sheer contrast against the otherwise white of my skin.  I can tell you that when I’m looking back over my shoulder at my own derriere in scene with a Dom, I am one of the latter. I love seeing the results of his work. Even more so, I love waking up the next day, and finding bruises slowly forming from his attentions the night before.  They are his calling card- his brand on me however temporary, reminding me of my submission and his rule over me. I run my hands over those marks- hand prints or lash marks or bites- and I press down lightly on them.  The slight discomfort echoes the stronger pain I experienced before.  The endorphins once again rush through my bloodstream. It always makes me catch my breath. Yes, I am a masochist.

Scarification takes this a step further. Visually, it can be quite beautiful when done with the right intent. Just jump on Google and do a search- you’ll see what I’m talking about- intricate, beautiful patterns that will amaze you. It can run the gamut from a simple cigarette burn, to an elaborate Geisha winding around your ribcage. Outside of its D/s meaning, scarification is used in many tribal cultures as a rite of passage into adulthood, or to symbolize a major emotional event such as a death, birth, or marriage.  Some use it to indicate status, like women who are ready to marry and bear children, or leaders of tribes. It’s similar to tattooing in many respects except for one fundamental difference. Scarification is the product of your own body- there are no inks or dyes involved. The damaged tissues merely reform into the pattern you wish, and the pigment changes on its own. This result can be obtained by abrasion, cutting, branding with a heated instrument, or cold branding with an extremely cold medium, like liquid nitrogen. All methods, under the right conditions, are painful and can produce a seductive high due to the release of endorphins. 

I myself am not sure how I feel about the cutting or burning of my skin. The pain isn’t the problem. The problem is the permanence of such an act. It’s very like someone getting the tattoo of their boyfriend’s name on their ass, and then breaking up a month later when you realize your former love is an idiot. Who wants that reminder of misjudgment there forever? Similarly in the case of scarification, you are permanently marking yourself as submissive to that person, recording that moment when you gave them all of yourself- handed your body and soul into their hands and said, do with me what you will. I am yours. But things change- people change- ideal situations end up being not so ideal.  So, I’m hesitant to let anyone mark me in this way. And yet, there is an appeal to it. Being submissive, I am constantly looking for new ways to express my adoration and obedience. Yes, I would consider scarification with the right Dom. But as with much else in this end, it would require serious negotiation, and it wouldn’t be something I did lightly just for kicks. And so of course to wrap up my article, I must say TruFetish readers, (like I always do), do your research. Be sure it’s what you really want before you jump head first into it. It’s much better to do so than to wake up one day with the name “Butch” written in cigarette burns on your left butt cheek. At least, I think so. In this widely diverse lifestyle we all so enjoy, I'm sure there's someone out there that disagrees. Lilwhip, over and out!

-Lilwhip